Code Blue on Nicki Minaj
Is Nicki Minaj still with us? Like is she still breathing? Is she alright? Who really posted on her Instagram? We sure it was her?
Shots fired is not the term for this. Grenade fired. Maybe? Rocket launcher fired. Sounds better? Nuclear bomb fired. Completely accurate.
Reminisce Smith just.....
I....I just got off a plane. I'm in a hotel room. And I just spent the last thirty minutes like
Honestly, I need a moment to just full out stan for Remy Ma if I'm going to give yall complete sentences. You're going to have to bear with me. Just give me a moment.
BECAUSE REMY MA JUST BODIED NICKI MINAJ. AND SHE NOT ONLY BODIED HER. SHE WENT TO THE POLICE STATION AND IDENTIFIED HER BODY. HELD A MEMORIAL SERVICE. BOUGHT A TOMB STONE. PLACED THE FIRST SHOVEL OF DIRT ON TOP OF THE CASKET. RE-DUG HER UP. BROUGHT HER BACK TO LIFE AND THEN BODIED HER AGAIN.
YOU GIRLS HEARD MAKE LOVE AND WAS ON THE INTERWEB SCREAMING ABOUT HOW OLD NICKI IS BACK. AND HOW THAT VERSE WAS BETTER THAN MONSTER. FIRST AND FOREMOST, IT WAS NOT. BUT SECOND IF YOU'RE GOING TO COME FOR REMINISCE SMITH, YOU DON'T SHOOT BB PELLETS. YOU PULL OUT ALL OF YOUR ARSENAL AND FIRE ALL OF IT BECAUSE WHEN REMY SHOOTS BACK SHE'S NOT GOING TO PLAY NICE.
AND THEN NICKI HAS THE NERVE TO RESPOND BACK ON INSTAGRAM. GIRL!!! THIS IS NOT THE TIME. IT IS TIME FOR BARS. IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO CALL SAFAREE TO GET SOME OF YOUR GOOD PUNCHLINES BACK. NOBODY GIVES A FLYING FIG NEWTON THAT REMY AND JOE'S ALBUM AREN'T SELLING WELL OR THAT BEYONCE CALLED YOU THE QUEEN OF RAP. SHE CALLED YOU THE QUEEN OF RAP CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN THE ONLY ONE OUT HERE DOING IT FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS. YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY COMPETITON. THIS IS NOW ABOUT BARS. THIS IS NOW ABOUT COMPETITION. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM THE LAST TWO YEARS WATCHING YOUR MAN TAKE MULTIPLE LS?
Alright, self, you've got to calm down. Nobody likes blog posts in all caps. Get it together.
Okay. Now that I have that out. Let's write a real post.
Today Nicki Minaj caught her biggest L to date. And I hope and pray that she learned her lesson from being in the middle of, arguably, one of the biggest hip hop beefs ever, and is ready to aim and fire. In her "Make Love" verse Nicki says To be the queen of rap/You gotta sell records/You gotta get plaques/ S, plural like the S on my chest. I have a follow up question to that. If the "Queen of Rap" can get bested, taken out, murked, and murdered by someone who's a widely respected lyricist, is she really the queen of rap, or does she have some work to do?
I think she has some work to do. Nicki has been the only girl out here consistently doing it for a while. She's not used to taking aim at people with real bars.
Here's how Remy bodied Nicki:
1. She started the song with a clip of Nicki screaming Free Remy...priceless.
2. She called her on her weaknesses which are coming mad aggressive at girls she know can't clap back, only calling for togetherness for selfish reasons like not getting a VMA nomination, suspiciously not having a good verse since her and Safaree broke up, and weak bars.
3. She got personal. Remy gave us seven minutes of this face:
There was just so much. Trey Songz, Drake, ghostwriting, starting beefs, Gucci Mane. There. Was. So. Much.
4. She pulled out her inner Eminem moment. At some point in every rap beef there should be a line where everyone is wondering if he or she went to far. Remy did that by talking about Nicki's brother. Pearls were clutched. But all is fair in hip hop beefs so it's fair. But brutal AF.
4. She stunted with her money. Now usually this only works when one person makes wayyyyy more money than the other. But this is an unusual case. Nicki Minaj's net worth is about $70 million. Remy Ma's is about $3 million. But here's why Remy is a genius. Instead of acting like she has more (or talking about her watch, looking at you Meek), she talked about how the music business works and made Nicki look, again, weak. No matter how you slice it, Nicki's publishing can't be that poppin. She's under Cash Money after all. But Remy is independent, which means it's almost all going to come back to her. It's genius.
5. Upon release of the song she placed that @NickiMinaj right in the post. She made it very clear that she was talking about her and nobody else. And that's real hip hop.
Remy Ma is it. Point, blank and the period. Nicki really needs to hit Safaree with the hey big head text right now and get some bars. And the bars need to be out tomorrow. Ah. The only thing that would make this better is if she was still with Meek. Oh the memes. The memes would be so glorious.