Dear Mariah Carey,
It’s that special time of the year! It’s Christmas time! A time where no matter what holiday station I turn on, “All I Want for Christmas is You” will be there. It doesn’t matter if it’s the radio, Pandora, or an Apple Music station. But it’s great, because I will never tire of it. Never.
That holiday album has gone platinum five times. And it deserves to. It’s a great holiday album, and you sound heavenly on it. That album has been out for 21 years, and is still being played like it’s brand new.
But Mariah, I have just one small request. Do you think perhaps you could sing nothing off this album live this year, at anyone’s event? I mean nothing, but especially not “All I Want for Christmas is You.”
It hurts to ask you this Mariah. It truly does. You, ma’am, are a legend, but your voice is…tired. It has given us enough high notes for three lifetimes, and it simply cannot do it anymore. It is painful to watch you grace the stage in your beautiful gown, looking radiant, only to have to wince at the end of every line, only to breathe a sigh of relief at the end because it’s over.
Somebody’s going to invite you on their Christmas special to perform. And I want you to go! Just maybe, consider lip syncing for us. You’re a legend. You’ve proved yourself. You don’t have to keep doing this. Please stop doing this.
I love you Mariah, okay. Do not take these words as offense, but take them as a desperate plea from a fan.