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A Letter to Meek Mill

Dear Rahmeek, 

Do you remember when you were a child, and you heard your mom cleaning a room? And you would rush into that room and tell your mom you got it so you could avoid the speech that would follow after she cleaned that room. And she would say it's too late. 

You are the kid rushing into the room. And it is too late. 

I don't want to hear your second diss track. Not a single person cares that Tyga isn't cool with Drake. We don't even care about Tyga. 

Also, did you threaten to give a grown man a wedgie? 

It doesn't matter. Because the point of this letter is to tell you that it's over. Drake has shown us all that you can be a whole new level of petty. He dominated. He won. He spent an entire week entertaining us. He gave us two diss tracks with replay value. He really sent bottles to Charlamagne. He wore a free Meek shirt at his rehearsal for the OVO Fest, and then displayed a nice little slideshow of all of the wonderful memes making fun of you. He let you know that you don't want this three peat. And THEN he went backstage and laughed it up with Kanye West and Will Smith from West Philadelphia born and raised. 

Your diss song was okay, and that's giving you a lot. You mumbled for half of it, put Diddy on it (you do know that Diddy doesn't write his raps right?), talked about your watch for the billionth time, and really thought you did something. You did nothing. And you ranting on instagram and taking pictures of you holding money makes you look even more lame. And to top it off last night you said you would give Drake a wedgie (childish and worthy of your new nickname, Weak Mill).

Let me be as clear as possible. Please stop. I don't want to hear your second song. It is done. We were all thoroughly entertained, and I want to say thank you for the most interesting hip hop beef we've had in a while. But the more cringeworthy things you do, the harder it is to listen to Dreams Worth More Than Money. I can only listen to R.I.C.O. right now, and to be honest I can only listen to Drake's part. So, please just take this L, and enjoy your girl's tour. 

Thank you,

Ellen

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