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5 Reasons Why I Won't Be Watching the VMAs

I'm pretty much over award shows. In high school I stopped watching and caring about the Teen Choice Awards because I realized they were dumb. A couple of years into college I stopped watched the MTV Movie Awards because yawn. The BET Awards is a rollercoaster, but ultimately I enjoy them. I've lost respect for the Grammys, but we'll talk about that later. The Billboard Awards are laughable. This pretty much leaves me with one major award ceremony...the VMAs. 

Every year the VMAs feel like a waste of three hours. But ultimately I watch, because I love pop culture and need to see the 5 minutes of relevant content that everyone will talk about the next day. However, this year I'm throwing in the towel, and I've decided to spend my three hours doing something enjoyable. Here's why: 

1. Beyonce won't be there. I think that explains itself. 

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2. Miley Cyrus is hosting. Miley Cyrus irks me. She comes on my TV, and I turn it off. She comes on the radio, and I turn it off. MTV has gotten Miley on every form of media to promote her hosting this show, and I have taken one glance, rolled my eyes, and either kept scrolling, turned it off, or clicked out of the app. Her whole "look what new, shocking, weird thing I can wear/add/do with my body/face/other people" schtick is so tired. Why is she always licking things? I love people who are just genuinely different, but she just seems like a caricature. There are so many other people who've had pretty great years who could've hosted. Was Chrissy Teigan busy? Was Zendaya not available? You all cannot make me watch Miley attempt to be funny for three hours. You just can't.  

3. Nicki Minaj is the opener... Look I love Nicki Minaj. I told her I'd admit it. I hope one day we get married just to say we f'in did it. But Nicki Minaj as a performer......ummm. She's okay, but she's not an exciting performer. And that's most rappers because rap is so closely tied with lyrics and a vibe and not necessarily with dance moves and a set. [Side note: If Beyonce pops up to do Feelin Myself notify me immediately.]

4.  ...and the performances after Nicki don't get any more exciting. The Weeknd (I'll pass on that live performance). Demi Lovato (no thank you). Macklemore (nah). Justin Bieber (Where R U Now is my jam, so I'll just save time and watch the video online the next day). Pharrell (no). Tori Kelly (I like her so, I'll watch the clip the next day). Bruno Mars (always a good time but if I hear Uptown Funk one more time I'm going to scream, so I will cautiously wait). A$AP Rocky (absolutely not). So basically there's no NSYNC reunion for me to watch. Yonce won't be snatching any wigs. There's nothing that promises that this will all be worth it. 

5. The odds are never in my favor. The nominations for the VMAs actually aren't bad this year. I understand why each and every one is nominated. But I have a feeling that Taylor Swift will take every award she's nominated for. Every year I say maybe not, and then she does. So I think I'm just going to wait until Tumblr or Twitter tells me who wins. 

I think I'm just over it y'all. I'm hoping this isn't a sign of me getting old, but it may be. Oh no...am I getting old?! Have I fallen out of the target market? Is this what the kids want? Or are other people feeling this way about the VMAs too? Let me know in the comments! 

P.S. The perfect gif used above was made by this wonderful blog.

 

 

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