Everybody born in the early 90s, maybe even the late 80s babies, have memories of sneaking to the living room at some ungodly hour in the morning to watch BET Uncut. For me, I had to wait until the summertime when I spent some time at my cousin's house (sorry Mom!).
So when BET announced they were bringing back BET Uncut, I got hype for a moment. I'm an adult. I pay cable. I can watch what I want. Then I remembered, it's 2015. I watched Anaconda on YouTube, and you didn't even have to verify your age to watch it. For fun I watched Tip Drill (again, on YouTube) and laughed at how mild it was compared to videos now. On Mondays at 8 p.m. I can, with regret and shame, tune into VH1 and watch Joseline Hernandez and Jessica Dimepiece show off all of their plastic surgery, and that's during primetime! So what could BET Uncut possibly show?
As that realization hit everybody, and the internet declared this dumb, I decided I wasn't going to watch it. But then I realized that I do what I want, and I was curious. I was going to see what BET could possibly bring.
I watched the end of Nellyville and watched the countdown clock in the right hand corner, thinking "Look how life comes full circle, from Tip Drill to family man." I don't know why I was trying to be philosophical. Perhaps because I was tired. It was past my bedtime.
And then BET tried it.
After giving us a cute little intro, the camera cuts to King Bach and other guy who makes money off Vine. They proceed to let us know that this was all a prank and a promotion for Punk'd, which is being revamped on the channel. And what would we even expect BET Uncut to show because you can watch everything on YouTube anyway.
I'm grown. I work a 9 to 5, meaning I go to bed at a smooth 10:30 every night. I stayed up, eyes half closed, hair in bonnet, blanket up to my chin FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH ME. DO YOU THINK I CONTINUED WATCHING THE SHOW AFTER THAT? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS CUTE? WHO CAME UP WITH THIS? WAS THIS THE SAME PERSON WHO IN 2011 TOLD US THAT BEYONCE WAS GOING TO BE PERFORMING AT THE BET AWARDS AND THEN BASICALLY PLAYED US A YOUTUBE CLIP FROM HER CONCERT IN GERMANY?
I have questions. And I demand answers.
Somebody is going to have to catch these hands for my time wasted. I need a name. I need to write a letter. What is Debra's address? Furthermore, who runs BET's social media because I want to see ya'll too. I bet you all just had a great big laugh sitting up in your office watching Twitter go off.
Try me again, and I'm picketing the establishment.
I'll be waiting for you at the door. Try it again, BET.